I’ve been reading and rereading Difficult Conversations by Stone, Patton and Heen. I find it particularly useful because it identifies the thing that has always baffled me about “those” conversations: they’re not about facts and logic. Even though we spend inordinate amounts of teeth-grinding time on “But you said…” and “I don’t remember saying that, [...]

20-30 Years Old and Suddenly Sitting at the Boss’s Desk

I was recently interviewed for an article in the Wall Street Journal for the column You at the Boss’s Desk. Here’s the article:  I wanted to expand on the topic a bit. For people in their 20′s and 30′s a sudden promotion to a management position can have its joys and challenges. Of course there’s [...]

Millennial Leaders: Will they survive?

Margaret Wheatley (http://www.margaretwheatley.com/) has said “I strongly believe that the old leadership paradigm has failed us and that our current systems will continue to unravel.  This has changed what I do and whom I choose to support.  I no longer spend any time trying to fix or repair the old or to improve old leadership methods.  [...]

Perspectives and Emotions

Changing perspectives is a great way to open doors to new understanding.  After all, our perspective is what creates our reality. “Pretend” was the biggest perspective-changer in my life.  A great coach and friend, Michele McCarthy, told me, “Pretend that everything that happens to you happens because you want it to happen and you always [...]

The Adaptive Coaching Framework

I have observed the following skills of people who successfully adjust in a highly volatile environment: Knowing what matters Noticing what matters Knowing when and with whom to connect Taking action to connect Knowing when and how to respond Taking action to respond Learning and adapting to the results of their action Committing to repeating [...]

The Adaptive Coaching model – Step 1: Notice

The first step in my coaching model is Notice. Noticing things gives us subjects to connect to others about, and respond to, thus ultimately learning from.  We tend to notice things that disturb us, just as the rest of the living world does.  Disturb doesn’t necessarily mean something negative, but has the connotation of a [...]

A coaching model for adaptive behaviour

Adaptive behaviour: Any behaviour that enables an organism to adjust to a particular situation or environment.   A simple model for adaptive behaviour: Notice Connect with others Learn and adapt Respond Repeat    How I, as a coach, use this model with you, as a client: In my work with teams as a coach, instructor [...]

Time to replace the old paradigms?

In contrast to static engineered solutions which so often die on the vine, self-organized solutions survive and prosper and create organizational success.  Self-organizing, diverse, local solutions build adaptive capability in the path of ambiguity and chaos. People who choose to learn new paradigms skillfully respond to change in ways that matter to them.  They and [...]

Change and adaptation

Change happens without our consent, sometimes without our even noticing.  It occurs at the edges when we aren’t looking, in the inconvenient times and places, when we are least prepared and most overwhelmed.      We all seek to control change.  We want to believe we can plan for the future.  Recent events are giving [...]